Let's Be Honest About Father's Day...

Father's Day is one of those days that looks simple on a greeting card and is anything but in real life.

For some of us it's brunch and handmade cards and a dad who's genuinely earned every "World's Best" mug in the cupboard. For others, today is tender in a way the ads never show.

So before we say anything else, let's just sit with that for a sec. 💛

The bit nobody puts on a card

Here's the truth we don't say out loud enough: in most homes — even the happy ones, even the ones with a genuinely lovely bloke in them — Mum is still carrying more than her share.

She's the default parent. The one who remembers the dress-up day, the medicine at 8am and again at 6pm, the present for Saturday's party, the fact that we're nearly out of toilet paper. The mental load doesn't clock off, and most of the time it doesn't get shared — it gets managed. By her.

If that's your reality, you're not imagining it. You're not ungrateful. You're just tired. And you're allowed to be.

And for some of you, today is heavier still

It aches if you've lost your dad, and the empty chair feels louder than usual.

It aches if you never really had a good one — if "what does a good dad even look like?" is a genuine question and not a rhetorical one, because nobody ever showed you.

And it aches in the homes where Mum is doing the work of two for real — where separation or divorce means she's the school gate and the footy sideline and the 2am wake-up, being both parents at once and getting a fraction of the credit.

If that's you, I see you. Today doesn't have to be tidy. You're allowed to feel all of it.

So what are we actually asking for?

Because it's not much. And somehow it's still rare.

A good dad in this day and age is usually one who's had to unlearn almost everything he was taught. He grew up when men were told to toughen up, bottle it down and never let anyone see them cry. When "that's women's work" was a full sentence. When the jokes about women, or race, or anyone "different" were just the water everyone swam in.

Undoing all of that is real work. And the honest truth? Very few have done all of it. Most are somewhere on the road — and let's be real, some are still looking for the on-ramp.

What we're hoping for is a dad who:

• Lets his kids see him feel. Cries at the movie. Says sorry. Says "I got that wrong."
• Doesn't do sexism, racism or misogyny — and doesn't laugh along when someone else does, because his kids are always listening.
• Actually shares the load. Doesn't "babysit" his own children. Doesn't "help" with the housework like it's a favour he's doing you. Cooks, cleans, packs the bag, knows the shoe sizes — and carries the mental load, not just the bins.
• Is present. Phone down. Properly there. Because kids won't remember the size of the house. They'll remember whether Dad looked up.

If your partner does some of that, let's notice it. If he does all of it — genuinely, you've got a good one, and I hope he knows it today.

And if he's not there yet? You're allowed to want more. Wanting an equal partner isn't asking too much. It's just asking.

Credit where it's due

Because they do exist — the dads who've done the work, who show up fully, who make it look like partnership instead of part-time help. Let's not erase them just because they're outnumbered.

And here's the lovely part: the person doing the real fathering isn't always the biological dad. Sometimes it's a stepdad. A grandad. An uncle. A mum's partner who chose these kids as his own. A coach, a family friend, the bloke who simply keeps turning up.

A father figure is anyone who shows up with love, safety and consistency — on the boring Tuesdays as much as the big occasions. If there's someone like that in your world, today's for him too.

Why we say it out loud

None of this is about bashing the dads. It's about being honest — because honest is the only thing that ever actually changes anything.

Our kids are watching. The sons who'll grow up knowing the mental load is theirs to share too. The daughters who'll grow up refusing to accept anything less than an equal. That's the whole point. That's how the water changes.

Imagine that.

For the dads (and father figures) who want to do the work

If any of this struck a chord — for you, or for the guy in your life who genuinely wants to be that kind of dad — here are some brilliant Aussie voices worth following. Pop them in a message to him, or soak them up yourself while you're folding the never-ending washing.

• How Other Dads Dad — Hamish Blake's podcast, where he sits down with dads he admires and pinches their best wisdom. Warm, funny and surprisingly moving.
• The Imperfects — Hugh van Cuylenburg (of The Resilience Project) his brother Josh (both are dads) with Ryan Shelton, having honest chats about vulnerability and being perfectly imperfect.
• Dr Justin Coulson — Happy Families — Brisbane-based parenting author, speaker and podcaster (you might know him from Parental Guidance). Practical, down-to-earth, no judgement.
• Steve Biddulph — the OG. His books Raising Boys and Manhood have shaped how a whole generation thinks about raising open-hearted, kind, strong men.
• The Man Cave — an Aussie charity running workshops that help teenage boys build emotional smarts and a healthier idea of what being a man actually means. Gold if you're raising sons.

A little something for the father figures

Here's the honest bit — because you know I don't do magic-fix promises.

Our Male blend isn't going to undo forty years of "boys don't cry" overnight. Nothing in a bottle can. But it can be a gentle little tool in the toolkit for the father figure who's trying — the one who wants to sit with the big stuff, open up, feel his feelings and let a bit more out instead of holding it all in.

For the dad who's somewhere on the road and willing to keep walking it.

And because it's Father's Day weekend, the Male blend is 50% off until midnight Sunday. If there's a dad, stepdad, grandad or father figure in your life who's doing the work — or genuinely wants to — it might be a lovely little way to say: I see you, and I'm here for it.

👉 Shop the Male blend here — 50% off ends midnight Sunday.

Happy Father's Day — to the ones doing the work, the ones we miss, and the mums quietly holding it all together.

Especially you.

Alisha x