My husband is my very best friend and my rock....


And sometimes I HATE him! 

We have been together for 22 years, married for 20 of those years and this particular year (2024) has been our most challenging when it's come to our relationship.

Because for the last 14 years, it's not just been about us...it's mostly been about our daughter and our son. 

All parents know this. The kids seem to come first for a good long while and when things get bumpy, everything gets tested. Because if anyone in the family is going through hell, you are all going through hell together...and you not only have to figure out how to navigate this time as an individual, but also as a partner and a parent.

And that is sometimes the hardest part.

Back in November 2023, our just turned 13 year old daughter was diagnosed with anorexia. I can't even tell you how hard that was for her as that is her personal story to tell one day (or not!) but I can tell you that as a mother, I don't think I have ever felt as broken or as lost as I did through this time. 

It had such a massive impact on my life, my work, my own trauma stuff (that I work through daily) and the relationships I have with both of my kids and of course my husband.

So for the last 12 months, we have been bunkered down, helping, supporting, re-evaluating, learning, changing and some days only just coping...

And while we are at such a good place now with our daughter, recently we looked around at the rubble left by so much emotional shifting and realised we have forgotten a crucial element to this parenting gig lately...focusing on each other...the people behind the parents!

As hard as it's been keeping our daughter connected to us through such a turbulent time (and keeping our son connected) our connection to each other took such a back seat and one day recently I found myself turning around and asking myself if I was still happy in my marriage...

That was a shock to me. 

I have always had such a connection to my husband even through our fights and the less 'love filled' times and so I always knew we would get though the rough patches. I think this is because I have always put a lot of work into our relationship and that has helped keep it afloat through babies, toddlers, tweens, teens, self realisations, health issues, pandemics, family issues etc...you know life!? 

But once our date nights got put on hold and even times to chat alone at home (for us that is in the sauna!) got put on hold, I guess we started drifting further apart...too focused on our own pain to help each other with theirs. 

And without that love and connection and closeness, all the things that I don't love about my husband got bigger and bigger (I mean you should hear him sneeze!) and all the things that I love about him felt smaller and smaller.

So it was a scary thing to find myself questioning such an important part of my life as well as face one of my biggest fears (I come from divorced parents) but today as I write this...I feel so grateful that once I recognise a problem, I look for a solution asap as I'm not very good at just letting things stagnate...I do like my energy to keep shifting and moving! 

So I'm not saying a weekend away in Gwinganna Lifestyle Retreat has solved everything but it sure has been an amazing reset!



Last weekend we spent time just being with each other...not just away from the kids but away from having to do anything for ourselves or tackle any of life's problems. All our delicious organic meals were made and served to us 5 times a day! No cleaning, no shopping, no preparing! Our daily itineraries were delivered each morning and we just did whatever we felt like all while in the most beautiful and natural scenery of Tallebudgera Valley. 

Each day there was pool time, steams, saunas, massages, reading together, chatting and walking in nature and just SEEING each other as Alisha and Scott again instead of just mum and dad. If you are treating your mind and body well, you are going to feel the positive affects within you and share that with each other.



It was just so lovely and we came up with some new relationship guidelines going forward - monthly date nights again, having more saunas and walks together and remembering that we are both humans struggling with recent trauma and we can take a break from it all when we need to and just come back home to each other again. 

This is by no means a 'what to do' blog as every relationship has it's ups and downs and some downs can be irreparable. We are grateful that we didn't leave things much longer as I imagine it gets harder and harder to reconnect after more time passes so I guess the only advice I do have is, make sure you don't leave things for when the kids are out of home or you have that holiday next year...every day is a new day to reconnect and work on things again.



And working on yourself is paramount too...I don't think I would have gotten this far in life with any of my important relationships without always doing the work on myself. This is a life long and daily journey but what else are we here for if not that hey? 

Yours in health,

Alisha x

Ps. If you need help working on the relationship with yourself or anyone else, please check out my Relationship Pack

Pps. Yes, Gwinganna is my favourite Health Retreat and place to stay in all the world and they don't pay me to say this! I try to get there on a yearly basis to reset myself and save myself from burnout! I always love sharing what works for me and what helps heal me and this is definitely one of those places. If you would like more info on my longer solo stays, please read My Gwinganna Health Retreat Stay

My husband is my very best friend and my rock....


And sometimes I HATE him! 

We have been together for 22 years, married for 20 of those years and this particular year (2024) has been our most challenging when it's come to our relationship.

Because for the last 14 years, it's not just been about us...it's mostly been about our daughter and our son. 

All parents know this. The kids seem to come first for a good long while and when things get bumpy, everything gets tested. Because if anyone in the family is going through hell, you are all going through hell together...and you not only have to figure out how to navigate this time as an individual, but also as a partner and a parent.

And that is sometimes the hardest part.

Back in November 2023, our just turned 13 year old daughter was diagnosed with anorexia. I can't even tell you how hard that was for her as that is her personal story to tell one day (or not!) but I can tell you that as a mother, I don't think I have ever felt as broken or as lost as I did through this time. 

It had such a massive impact on my life, my work, my own trauma stuff (that I work through daily) and the relationships I have with both of my kids and of course my husband.

So for the last 12 months, we have been bunkered down, helping, supporting, re-evaluating, learning, changing and some days only just coping...

And while we are at such a good place now with our daughter, recently we looked around at the rubble left by so much emotional shifting and realised we have forgotten a crucial element to this parenting gig lately...focusing on each other...the people behind the parents!

As hard as it's been keeping our daughter connected to us through such a turbulent time (and keeping our son connected) our connection to each other took such a back seat and one day recently I found myself turning around and asking myself if I was still happy in my marriage...

That was a shock to me. 

I have always had such a connection to my husband even through our fights and the less 'love filled' times and so I always knew we would get though the rough patches. I think this is because I have always put a lot of work into our relationship and that has helped keep it afloat through babies, toddlers, tweens, teens, self realisations, health issues, pandemics, family issues etc...you know life!? 

But once our date nights got put on hold and even times to chat alone at home (for us that is in the sauna!) got put on hold, I guess we started drifting further apart...too focused on our own pain to help each other with theirs. 

And without that love and connection and closeness, all the things that I don't love about my husband got bigger and bigger (I mean you should hear him sneeze!) and all the things that I love about him felt smaller and smaller.

So it was a scary thing to find myself questioning such an important part of my life as well as face one of my biggest fears (I come from divorced parents) but today as I write this...I feel so grateful that once I recognise a problem, I look for a solution asap as I'm not very good at just letting things stagnate...I do like my energy to keep shifting and moving! 

So I'm not saying a weekend away in Gwinganna Lifestyle Retreat has solved everything but it sure has been an amazing reset!



Last weekend we spent time just being with each other...not just away from the kids but away from having to do anything for ourselves or tackle any of life's problems. All our delicious organic meals were made and served to us 5 times a day! No cleaning, no shopping, no preparing! Our daily itineraries were delivered each morning and we just did whatever we felt like all while in the most beautiful and natural scenery of Tallebudgera Valley. 

Each day there was pool time, steams, saunas, massages, reading together, chatting and walking in nature and just SEEING each other as Alisha and Scott again instead of just mum and dad. If you are treating your mind and body well, you are going to feel the positive affects within you and share that with each other.



It was just so lovely and we came up with some new relationship guidelines going forward - monthly date nights again, having more saunas and walks together and remembering that we are both humans struggling with recent trauma and we can take a break from it all when we need to and just come back home to each other again. 

This is by no means a 'what to do' blog as every relationship has it's ups and downs and some downs can be irreparable. We are grateful that we didn't leave things much longer as I imagine it gets harder and harder to reconnect after more time passes so I guess the only advice I do have is, make sure you don't leave things for when the kids are out of home or you have that holiday next year...every day is a new day to reconnect and work on things again.



And working on yourself is paramount too...I don't think I would have gotten this far in life with any of my important relationships without always doing the work on myself. This is a life long and daily journey but what else are we here for if not that hey? 

Yours in health,

Alisha x

Ps. If you need help working on the relationship with yourself or anyone else, please check out my Relationship Pack

Pps. Yes, Gwinganna is my favourite Health Retreat and place to stay in all the world and they don't pay me to say this! I try to get there on a yearly basis to reset myself and save myself from burnout! I always love sharing what works for me and what helps heal me and this is definitely one of those places. If you would like more info on my longer solo stays, please read My Gwinganna Health Retreat Stay