Doing The Hard Thing Anyway: Anxiety, Resilience & The Gift of Showing Up for Yourself
If you’ve ever said yes to something months in advance and then looked back at that earlier version of yourself thinking, “Oh sweetheart… you had no idea what life was about to throw at you,” this is for you.
When Your Yes Starts to Feel Like a Heavy Rock
A little while ago, I said yes to speaking at a conference. I was thrilled, honoured… it felt aligned. But between saying yes and the week I was meant to get on a plane, life happened. Big emotional life. Family things. Hormonal things. The mental load kind of things. Suddenly, the thing I was once excited about sat like a heavy rock on my chest. I’m not a natural-born speaker; I’m an introvert. Getting on a plane, leaving my family, and carrying a full weekend of nerves almost had me pulling the pin.
And here’s the truth: I could have pulled out. There’s zero shame in stepping back if something is going to break you. Sometimes the bravest decision is actually saying no. But sometimes — not always, but sometimes — the thing you’re scared of isn’t the thing that breaks you. It’s the thing that might just make you sturdier.
“Is this going to harm me… or stretch me in a way I’ll be proud of later?”
I weighed it up: being paid, learning something you can only learn by doing, and proving to myself (again) that I can do hard things. I decided to stay committed — but not without support, care, and adjustments.
Check In: Will This Be the Straw That Breaks Your Back?
Before you push through, ask yourself honestly:
- Is following through going to jeopardise my mental health right now?
- Do I have (or can I create) enough support and space to make this do-able?
- Could this challenge grow my confidence without depleting me?
- If I say no, is that actually the most self-loving choice this time?
There’s no badge for pushing yourself past breaking point. There’s also no shame in pulling out if that’s the healthiest option.
What Helped Me Keep My Commitment (Without Burning Out)
- Plan a soft landing: I added a night with a friend after the conference, plus a swim and a walk so I knew there was a reward after something hard.
- Talk it out: I spoke to my husband and close friends when I wanted to pull out. Spoiler: no one can decide for you (even when you desperately want them to!) — but being witnessed calms the nervous system.
- Clear the week: I cleared as much as possible in the lead-up — no extra social catch-ups or add-ons — so I wasn’t overloaded before flying.
-
Flower essence support:
- Focus blend for clarity and concentration while practicing my talk.
- Protect blend + Protect mist to protect my energy around lots of people and to clear my hotel room (introverted, highly sensitive must-have!).
- Self Love blend for confidence and groundedness when pre-talk nerves kick in.
- Outsource confidence: I booked a mobile hair & makeup artist to my hotel. I can’t do hair or makeup (lol!) — feeling polished helps me feel brave on stage.
Anxiety Isn’t Always “Don’t Do It”
Sometimes anxiety is a warning. Sometimes it’s a teacher. And sometimes it’s a sign you’re about to grow. The self-kindness isn’t in always saying no, and it isn’t in always saying yes — it’s in knowing which one your body needs this time.
Every time we get through something we thought we couldn’t, we expand our inner ground. We become someone with proof, not just theory: “I can do hard things and still take care of myself.”
Shop the blends I used
Your Turn
Is there something in your life that feels scary and heavy, but a small part of you whispers, “Maybe this will lead somewhere good”? Or is there something you need to release because doing it would actually harm you?
Both choices require courage. Both are valid. The wisdom is in knowing the difference.
With love,
Alisha 🌸
Doing The Hard Thing Anyway: Anxiety, Resilience & The Gift of Showing Up for Yourself
If you’ve ever said yes to something months in advance and then looked back at that earlier version of yourself thinking, “Oh sweetheart… you had no idea what life was about to throw at you,” this is for you.
When Your Yes Starts to Feel Like a Heavy Rock
A little while ago, I said yes to speaking at a conference. I was thrilled, honoured… it felt aligned. But between saying yes and the week I was meant to get on a plane, life happened. Big emotional life. Family things. Hormonal things. The mental load kind of things. Suddenly, the thing I was once excited about sat like a heavy rock on my chest. I’m not a natural-born speaker; I’m an introvert. Getting on a plane, leaving my family, and carrying a full weekend of nerves almost had me pulling the pin.
And here’s the truth: I could have pulled out. There’s zero shame in stepping back if something is going to break you. Sometimes the bravest decision is actually saying no. But sometimes — not always, but sometimes — the thing you’re scared of isn’t the thing that breaks you. It’s the thing that might just make you sturdier.
“Is this going to harm me… or stretch me in a way I’ll be proud of later?”
I weighed it up: being paid, learning something you can only learn by doing, and proving to myself (again) that I can do hard things. I decided to stay committed — but not without support, care, and adjustments.
Check In: Will This Be the Straw That Breaks Your Back?
Before you push through, ask yourself honestly:
- Is following through going to jeopardise my mental health right now?
- Do I have (or can I create) enough support and space to make this do-able?
- Could this challenge grow my confidence without depleting me?
- If I say no, is that actually the most self-loving choice this time?
There’s no badge for pushing yourself past breaking point. There’s also no shame in pulling out if that’s the healthiest option.
What Helped Me Keep My Commitment (Without Burning Out)
- Plan a soft landing: I added a night with a friend after the conference, plus a swim and a walk so I knew there was a reward after something hard.
- Talk it out: I spoke to my husband and close friends when I wanted to pull out. Spoiler: no one can decide for you (even when you desperately want them to!) — but being witnessed calms the nervous system.
- Clear the week: I cleared as much as possible in the lead-up — no extra social catch-ups or add-ons — so I wasn’t overloaded before flying.
-
Flower essence support:
- Focus blend for clarity and concentration while practicing my talk.
- Protect blend + Protect mist to protect my energy around lots of people and to clear my hotel room (introverted, highly sensitive must-have!).
- Self Love blend for confidence and groundedness when pre-talk nerves kick in.
- Outsource confidence: I booked a mobile hair & makeup artist to my hotel. I can’t do hair or makeup (lol!) — feeling polished helps me feel brave on stage.
Anxiety Isn’t Always “Don’t Do It”
Sometimes anxiety is a warning. Sometimes it’s a teacher. And sometimes it’s a sign you’re about to grow. The self-kindness isn’t in always saying no, and it isn’t in always saying yes — it’s in knowing which one your body needs this time.
Every time we get through something we thought we couldn’t, we expand our inner ground. We become someone with proof, not just theory: “I can do hard things and still take care of myself.”
Shop the blends I used
Your Turn
Is there something in your life that feels scary and heavy, but a small part of you whispers, “Maybe this will lead somewhere good”? Or is there something you need to release because doing it would actually harm you?
Both choices require courage. Both are valid. The wisdom is in knowing the difference.
With love,
Alisha 🌸
2 comments
Well done Alisha! And you look gorgeous.
These are really powerful but gentle words that I will def keep in mind, instead of just pulling out. And I’ll be more consistent with my blends! 🙏🏻💖Hi Alisha.
I read your blog…and I thought wow. Ok, maybe this blend can help me cope better when I go to town or out to other places I dont like to go because of my anxiety.
I have got Long Covid with severe chronic fatigue. It takes me up to 2 hours driving to get to town to do my shopping and appointments etc. I dont slept well the night before the trip due to wondering if the next day will go ahead. I often leave town with some things not done or I get half way through shopping and go…stuff, it that, that will do. Ill get the rest next time due to the anxiety and noise and people and fatigue, knowing I need that last bit of energy to make the trip back home. People fluster me. I go to ask a question and I can’t think of words and when I get them, they play tricks on me and come out of my mouth shacky and mixed up which makes me look like a fool and then its a vicious cycle of blah blub shit.
I hate going to town. Then I’m out for the next few days trying to recharge.
Ill certainly be giving your blends a go to help me settle before I go out.
Ill be in touch soon.
Thankyou for sharing your story. Im pleased you got the support to do your presentation. I say yes to a lot of things but come the time its all too hard or I’ve already got nothing left. Good on you for getting there. Well done.
Cheers from NT.
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