Have you ever seen a lady in public looking amazed, scared, exhilarated and lost all at the same time? Me either but I think that's how I've been looking for the last fortnight as I've been immersed in the incredible beauty of Switzerland.

I really wanted to document how I was feeling after being away from my family for 2 weeks so far and it's really hard to articulate...but I'm going to try!

So to recap, I made the impulsive decision to go to Europe with my friends and leave my husband and kids behind for 3 weeks. I have never been away from my family for this long or this far away before. I booked my flight with just 6 weeks before I was to depart Brisbane. You can read the WHY behind this decision HERE

So it's been a mix of emotions the whole time I've been here. In full transparency, I have cried twice this morning and it's only 9.20am. But the tears have been cleansing and much needed I think...and they are not from stress or exhaustion like usual. They are from gratitude, love for the people I'm travelling with at the moment and wishing I could be in 2 places at the same time.

The things I've seen and experienced so far have reached into my soul and made me feel so lucky and grateful to be alive. I sometimes feel as though I'm not worthy of this experience but of course I am, we all are. 

It's just really hard and strange to put our own needs first in such a BIG way so fighting the guilt and the feeling that something is always missing along with feeling on top of the world and so happy to be alive has been interesting to say the least...

And I know I couldn't have done this trip without being with 'my second family' so it's been a very supported journey but it's also allowed me to reconnect with the pre-family Alisha when I only had to worry about myself.

Travel is one of things that brings me alive, lights the spark in my belly and heart and feels like that this is what I'm supposed to do more of here on Earth.

I have grabbed as many opportunities as I've been able to afford since my early 20's including travelling to England to live and work with the bare minimum in my bank account that you were allowed to leave Australia with (it was 1998 and I needed to show that I had $700 in my bank account to get my work visa so borrowed some from my mum who I paid back!) and from there I could work and travel Europe which is what I did for a couple of years before returning home.

Then years later, my hubby and I chose to have a very small, family only wedding and spend the money on the honeymoon instead (a budget friendly 6 week trip around South East Asia). 

For my 30th Birthday I chose to leave hubby at home and walk across the top of Spain for 5 weeks (a pilgrimage called the Camino De Santiago) which was truly life changing travel. I wrote about how this walk helped my worries and anxiety if you want to read that HERE

In fact, after getting back from that trip I knew I wanted more travel in my life before settling down and having kids and so hubby and I quit our jobs, packed up our things and travelled around Australia in a camper van for 12 months which was also life changing as we ended up settling in WA and having our first baby on that trip!

And I know you can still travel with babies and young kids, I see couples and families do it all the time! But I was not emotionally equipped for that at all! I found it hard being a mum to young kids and as much as I loved them to bits, just getting from breakfast to bath time at night was so hard some days that I didn't feel I could do it outside of my comfort zone.

And so my love of travel was put on hold for a while until they were older and I felt we could travel together without me feeling like I was only just holding it together. We started with camping and road trips and then progressed to trips with short flights (Tasmania, New Zealand, Fiji, Bali and then this year to Japan)

Whatever money we can save goes into our family holidays now as I've always felt that we are only here once so let's experience what we can as a family and hopefully pass the love of travel onto our kids. We don't buy brand clothing or have expensive cars and our only splurges are eating out and our holidays!

So to do this expensive trip on my own felt reckless and selfish but my gosh I am glad to have done it. 

Pushing through the mum guilt and living for yourself sometimes is so bloody hard but so rewarding for me and my family. Our FaceTime calls have been many and that has helped me so much and guess what? Both my young teens are happy, healthy and not even missing me that much! Can you believe it? And my husband is coping, the house hasn't burnt down and both pets are accounted for! 

I think the break for all of us so far has been really beneficial and even though I will have to work and save like mad to get us on our next family holiday, I feel I have more in the tank to be able to do so.

I'm off to Berlin and then Amsterdam for my last week here (Berlin will be completely solo!) so I will let you know how that goes!

Thanks for reading my emotional travel journal and I hope as always something resonates with you!

Love Alisha x

Have you ever seen a lady in public looking amazed, scared, exhilarated and lost all at the same time? Me either but I think that's how I've been looking for the last fortnight as I've been immersed in the incredible beauty of Switzerland.

I really wanted to document how I was feeling after being away from my family for 2 weeks so far and it's really hard to articulate...but I'm going to try!

So to recap, I made the impulsive decision to go to Europe with my friends and leave my husband and kids behind for 3 weeks. I have never been away from my family for this long or this far away before. I booked my flight with just 6 weeks before I was to depart Brisbane. You can read the WHY behind this decision HERE

So it's been a mix of emotions the whole time I've been here. In full transparency, I have cried twice this morning and it's only 9.20am. But the tears have been cleansing and much needed I think...and they are not from stress or exhaustion like usual. They are from gratitude, love for the people I'm travelling with at the moment and wishing I could be in 2 places at the same time.

The things I've seen and experienced so far have reached into my soul and made me feel so lucky and grateful to be alive. I sometimes feel as though I'm not worthy of this experience but of course I am, we all are. 

It's just really hard and strange to put our own needs first in such a BIG way so fighting the guilt and the feeling that something is always missing along with feeling on top of the world and so happy to be alive has been interesting to say the least...

And I know I couldn't have done this trip without being with 'my second family' so it's been a very supported journey but it's also allowed me to reconnect with the pre-family Alisha when I only had to worry about myself.

Travel is one of things that brings me alive, lights the spark in my belly and heart and feels like that this is what I'm supposed to do more of here on Earth.

I have grabbed as many opportunities as I've been able to afford since my early 20's including travelling to England to live and work with the bare minimum in my bank account that you were allowed to leave Australia with (it was 1998 and I needed to show that I had $700 in my bank account to get my work visa so borrowed some from my mum who I paid back!) and from there I could work and travel Europe which is what I did for a couple of years before returning home.

Then years later, my hubby and I chose to have a very small, family only wedding and spend the money on the honeymoon instead (a budget friendly 6 week trip around South East Asia). 

For my 30th Birthday I chose to leave hubby at home and walk across the top of Spain for 5 weeks (a pilgrimage called the Camino De Santiago) which was truly life changing travel. I wrote about how this walk helped my worries and anxiety if you want to read that HERE

In fact, after getting back from that trip I knew I wanted more travel in my life before settling down and having kids and so hubby and I quit our jobs, packed up our things and travelled around Australia in a camper van for 12 months which was also life changing as we ended up settling in WA and having our first baby on that trip!

And I know you can still travel with babies and young kids, I see couples and families do it all the time! But I was not emotionally equipped for that at all! I found it hard being a mum to young kids and as much as I loved them to bits, just getting from breakfast to bath time at night was so hard some days that I didn't feel I could do it outside of my comfort zone.

And so my love of travel was put on hold for a while until they were older and I felt we could travel together without me feeling like I was only just holding it together. We started with camping and road trips and then progressed to trips with short flights (Tasmania, New Zealand, Fiji, Bali and then this year to Japan)

Whatever money we can save goes into our family holidays now as I've always felt that we are only here once so let's experience what we can as a family and hopefully pass the love of travel onto our kids. We don't buy brand clothing or have expensive cars and our only splurges are eating out and our holidays!

So to do this expensive trip on my own felt reckless and selfish but my gosh I am glad to have done it. 

Pushing through the mum guilt and living for yourself sometimes is so bloody hard but so rewarding for me and my family. Our FaceTime calls have been many and that has helped me so much and guess what? Both my young teens are happy, healthy and not even missing me that much! Can you believe it? And my husband is coping, the house hasn't burnt down and both pets are accounted for! 

I think the break for all of us so far has been really beneficial and even though I will have to work and save like mad to get us on our next family holiday, I feel I have more in the tank to be able to do so.

I'm off to Berlin and then Amsterdam for my last week here (Berlin will be completely solo!) so I will let you know how that goes!

Thanks for reading my emotional travel journal and I hope as always something resonates with you!

Love Alisha x