Since my move to Brisbane which was only 4 weeks ago, so many signs and events keep pointing me in the direction I'm supposed to be going. Sometimes I fight these pointers and sometimes I ignore them. I have realised this is at my own peril.
You see, the old adage of 'fighting the current or floating with it' has never made more sense or been so clear. I am the type of person to instinctively try and control my life, the people in it and my environment.....yes, it is futile and silly as I have no control, BUT I do have my signs. For someone like me who has to constantly re-learn the art of letting go and going with the flow, my anchor for want of a better word, yes that word does not work here....my life buoy (that's better), are the symbols and signs left for me by the universe to keep steering me right.
Parenting 2 small ones has been a struggle with the move as I try and find my bearings again and of course my kids are the most important thing on the earth to me (after hubby). My hubby is a big boy, he can look after himself and has his new job to keep him very busy and distracted whilst I'm so absent and pulled in so many directions...we will reconnect soon but my kids ALWAYS need 100% from me. And sometimes that's not there. Cue massive guilt. I have been coping with the changes by using what always keeps me sane - helping others and pouring myself into Facebook page and this blog. So what signs did the universe throw me to say STOP!? Well, I'll tell you. First there was no internet connection at our house due to faulty lines - I thought, uh oh no blogging! Did I step back and look at that as a sign to take a break (they do place moving house right up there on the stress scale) and just hang with the kids? No.
I then went and got my data upgraded (for free) on my mobile phone so I could use that as a temporary modem for my laptop to keep on working and blogging...guess what happened? My iphone froze. Now this had never happened before. It just froze. It took many phone calls and finally a consult at an apple store with a technician type clever techno speak person...But seriously, I should have just stopped!
It wasn't just the phone/internet issues either. There were other signs to tell me to slow down and just BE with my kids. My good friend Sonia from Natural New Age Mum said "honey, don't you think when nothing is working you should stop trying for a bit and take a break?". Another one was a post from The Mindful Mum entitled 'I choose to Disconnect' which she wrote after reading an article called 'How to miss a childhood' which also appeared at this time....and then.....I stopped. The universe probably screamed "FINALLY!"
Not long after that, things started to 'work' again but I still felt guilty.
Then an even more amazing thing happened. My darling sister who now just lives 7 minutes away by car, (we still can't believe we live in a distance that doesn't involve planes, trains and automobiles from each other!) was a little worried that too much had gotten on top of me and she booked me a massage. All she did was google 'massage' with my suburb name, found someone and booked me an hour and a half massage plus reiki treatment. I know, I'm lucky, she's a good sissy.
I rocked up at the address to find my masseuse is also my good friend and old work buddy! We had a good long chat, I had an amazing treatment and we talked of what we are both now passionate about. Since I last saw her she has also become a psychologist as well as energy healer and has been working in primary and highschools. She started to talk about something she had learnt and wanted to one day incorporate into the school system but right now was more aimed at parents and young bubs and children. It's called Circle of Security or COS. I started to get very excited as what she was explaining sounded just like what I needed to learn right now as I'm raising a 1 year old and 2 year old and have recently/currently suffered from PND. This programme has people like me specifically in mind to help and my friend wanted to practice training this on someone else so I am now being taught something that I desperately needed and am already looking forward to sharing more about this on completion.
What a world!
There have been so many other signs lately especially in my work. I just had to stop and look for all these sometimes glaringly obvious and sometimes very subtle signs and now in an uncontrollable world, I feel a little more in control. I know that's not the point of these signposts, but it helps me none the less.
I remember a very life-changing trip I did, The Camino de Santiago, which was filled with obvious signs (the arrows that pointed our way across the top of Spain) and the subtle ones that became louder and louder the more you ignored them - sore feet, getting lost, illness, disagreements with friends and coming across the right people at the right time to just get you to your next step. That trip was only 5 years ago and I thought I would never forget the lessons I learnt about looking for signs....oh well....life will keep throwing us the lesson until it is learnt. I am under no illusions that it won't be thrown at me again soon.
I would love you to share any signs or pointers that you get thrown in life....Do you look for signs? Do you try and ignore or do you take heed quickly? What happens to you if you ignore 'the signs?'
Yours in health,