Are We Addicted to Self Improvement?

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February 24, 2017

The question of being addicted to self improvement has come up for me many times. I've often put it down to an occupational hazard but I remember it stemming back before I even studied naturopathy and made holistic health not only my career but also my way of life. And by holistic health I mean trying to achieve balance in my emotional, spiritual, mental and physical health....which is very elusive indeed. I do think it's important to keep trying to better ourselves but are we using 'not attaining balance' or 'not achieving our goals' as a stick to beat ourselves up with? To be honest, my answer has to be yes.

I had an amazing Tuesday evening this week thanks to Wake Up Project when I went along to see Danielle Laporte impart her wisdom and the lovely Clare Bowditch speak and sing.

The night had a total vibe of sisterhood and feminine energy and as soon as I got there I saw so many other lovely women that I knew and admired and it was swonderful to feel everyone's collective happiness and excitement to be out on a school night and in the company of so many strong women not mention listening to and being inspired by the likes of Danielle and Clare.

Now we don't often get to dedicate an evening to sitting down and hearing some lovely truths that may help our conscious living path or make us feel a little less lost on this journey of bettering ourselves or becoming better mothers, wives, friends...So I wanted to just quickly share a few of the #truthbombs that were dropped that night in case it's something you might need to hear right now. I know I did.

 

There's only so much I can convey in a blog and if you chose to stop reading after this next paragraph, then this is what I would most want you to take away:

Yes, we want to do our best for ourselves and our families every day but sometimes wanting to do our best every day leads to becoming addicted to self improvement...which sends us into stress....which completely derails any progress we want to make. Danielle emphasised that we seem to have become addicted to self help and self improvement and it's really not good for us at all. Clare just shared her lovely self by making us laugh and singing her songs while conveying the message that being happy with how things are right now is the best progress we can make.

 

And as simplistic as this is,  the best advice anyone could ever give us is: 

At every stage we are at, we just need to work on being happy with how things are RIGHT NOW.

 

So here's my Seven favourite truth bombs of the night:

  • Feelings are Facts
  • The best Self Help is Self Compassion
  • You can't rise without getting off track
  • That we are living in an age of lying to ourselves. There are 3 big lies that we need to be aware of:

1. The lie of inadequacy (that we aren't good enough)

2. The lie of authority (always looking outside ourselves for the answers and thinking someone else has more knowledge than ourselves on what's best for us)

3. The lie of Affiliation (that associating ourselves with someone else makes us better. That we aren't good enough on our own)

  • Practice our self care every day even when things are wonderful and cruisy because life will hurt you again. And you need a stockpile of self care and self love to get you through these times.
  • Psychics readings are only a 50/50 accuracy! They are just reading possibilities in your aura and energy field. You determine which way you want to go and every day with every new choice you make, your life can change direction.
  • Every time you say yes to something you want to say no to you adrenal glands will give you the middle finger and make you put on weight, not sleep as well and lower your libido

I think it's so important to remember that we should never stop trying to be better but maybe it's healthier to take a break from this once in a while.

Ask yourselves some questions like - Am I constantly searching for answers from other people or books or courses?

Do I feel more worthy or more deserving of greatness when part of a group?

Do I feel like my life will only start when I'm thin enough, good enough, accomplished enough, pretty enough, old enough, clever enough?

Am I always on some type of diet or self improvement kick?

 

If yes to any of the above, then please don't feel alone because myself and a buttload of other people are there with you but maybe it's time for the gentle reminder of :

You are here, you're alive and you just need to enjoy the ride

I know that if I met you, that I would think you're pretty darn amazing just as you are....and I  know you would think that of me also....no matter what I felt was missing from my personal puzzle.

 

Lots of Love,

 

Alisha x

 

Ps. Some Flower Essence blends that help you feel good enough just as you are: Self Love, Courage and Truth.

Pps. You might also enjoy this blog from another Wake Up Project even I attended: Six Pearls of Wisdom I Learnt in One Day


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