Stop. Sit down and read this.
I bet you were wanting to do something else as well as read this blog. Watch TV out of one eye, fold the washing, walk on a treadmill, read this with the other?
Maybe. Maybe not...
That's ok, definitely no judgement here.
I'm the same but I'm trying to change.
I know what's happening to me.
Once upon a time before kids, before facebook, before blogging, I actually prided myself on the fact that I inspired some close friends of mine to feel ok about doing nothing.
They felt guilt if they weren't being busy. I taught them that it was ok to wear pyjamas all day and watch DVD's if that's all they felt like doing.
I was so proud when they told me that they had learnt this from me. What a great gift to give someone!
Somewhere, along the way, I have lost this ability. Not from lack of want but from lack of time.
I also have other influences now.
Motherhood and social media.
I lost the notion of what it means to do one task at a time. To fill my head with just that one thing, that one task and do it mindfully.
This means with my whole attention and my best intention.
As a female and now a mother, I seriously don't know how I would get by unless I could multi - task. There is simply waaaay too much to do. I won't list my jobs and activities. You have them too, you know what I'm talking about.
I do want you to think for a moment though.
When was the last time you had some space to do one thing at a time and only had that one thing on your mind?
Today we have so much assisting us and pointing us towards multiple activities. We have constant access to all manner of information and it's portable and with us All. The. Time.
We receive more information and more ideas per minute than ever before in the history of mankind and this will continue to increase.
So what do we do?
We notice and we make a whole new bunch of choices that we didn't have to choose before.
There has been a rise in mother's, journalists, bloggers and face-bookers all writing about what I am now writing about - sooner or later it becomes very clear that what is happening to us is our own doing and we need to take stock and work out what to do to go forward without as much hazard.
I think facebook, instagram, blogs, pinterest etc. are wonderful things and I wouldn't have my business or the contact with so many amazing people without them
they can rule your very precious time and suck your days and nights away from you.
We are the generation to experience the start of these social media outlets and we are the generation that needs to look at how to manage them once they become problems. It's just something we have to learn now.
Stress, anxiety, depression and mental illness is at an all time high. My living is based on making remedies for people who are under these strains. We make so many Help blends, Slow Down blends and personal blends to help people, and while I'm glad that they do, everyone also needs to become aware of how they got to their incredibly high stress levels and emotional imbalances in the first place.
Sometimes it will just happen - nothing that can be done other than get through it the best you can by calling on support from as many areas as you can. Life is life and we are here on earth to learn.
Sometimes we can prevent this happening by just stopping before we hit that wall. What you need to work out is where that wall is for you and doing things to ensure the brakes go on before and not after.
I am happy to share with you guys what I am doing to ensure that my family has a sane wife and mother and that I can be happy with how I feel and who I see in the mirror (mostly!)
You might get ideas from me but of course this is the most individual and unique journey I can think of.
I can't emphasise talk therapy enough. Seeing a psychologist or counsellor should be a rite of passage for everyone and it should be something you are proud of doing and talking about. Addressing your emotional health is just as important (I would say more important) as addressing your physical health. Life can get messy sometimes and as soon as you are able - TALK about it. For too long I just blogged or facebooked as it was a lot easier to outlet in areas where you didn't have to see someone's face, or their emotions or possibly hear something back that you just weren't ready for. That's ok though, talking it out when you can will start the road to healing. It's tougher the longer you leave it but one of my favourite motto's has to be "better out than in" I remember what suppressing leads to - physical and mental health issues. And it's also great to talk to our loved ones but remember no one can be as impartial, objective and helpful as a professional.
2. Eat Well and use extra nutrients if needed
I eat very well, often too much, but I eat healthily. I allow myself to not eat healthily without stressing about it too. 80/20 rule of health for balance!! I also take supplements that I KNOW I am better on than off. A good multi-vitamin, fish oils, magnesium and a probiotic. Many of you won't need this and perhaps you can manage your health purely with diet but as a naturopath, I have easy access to the best and I notice the difference when I am off these core supplements. It took me ages to figure out exactly the extras my body needed and I guess that comes with knowing your body and lots of experience - I'm just glad it is as streamlined as this now, you should have seen what I used to take in my 20's - I rattled like a vitamin container!!
I also take my flower essences - they literally at times save my life and lives of those around me 😉
3. Having time off social media , computers and smart phones completely
For me this is BIG because it is how I make a living but of course you can see how that in itself makes it harder. But it's important to remeber we used to live without all this connection and constant information streaming into our consciousness. Have you ever let a whole day go by without being connected to your screens? Leave the whole day blank and guess what? The sky doesn't fall down and you will feel free as a bird.
4. I see people
I see a chiropractor every month, I also see a kinesiologist when I need to and I get fortnightly massages. Have your healthcare people scheduled in and go get your mind and body seen to as often as you can.
5. When I'm with my kids. I'm with my kids.
This is a hard one and one I believe many stay-at-home mums struggle with. It makes sense, after the craziness of baby time and as they emerge into toddlers, we start to miss the contact and stimulation we used to receive in our places of work and so we turn to our portable devices that share the outside world.
What we need to be doing though is finding our inside world.
That is, all the moments you will never get back that make up each day. The good, the bad and the ugly moments with your kids. Of course allocate time with them and time for yourself where you can.
6. Get Physical
In the words of Olivia Neutron Bomb - Let's get physical! Oh this is just so important that I don't know how to write about it without sounding like Preachy McPreacherston.
Basically, it's an area that I let lapse (on many occasions in my life) and whenever I start my exercise back, I am so much more me again - I am back in my body instead of always being in my head. The relief to be physical as well as doing something for yourself this way is priceless. How good is it to get out of your head and into your body?? Sooooo good!
I think it's important to find out what you love though as there are so many different types of exercise that you get excited about something and do it until the novelty wears off which can then be an end to your exercise until you start feeling bad about it and starting something else...and the cycle continues. Sound familiar?
Ask yourself a few questions about this. Write down what you like to do - can it be incorporated into exercise? For myself - water cleanses and replenishes my spirit so when I'm exercising in it, it doesn't feel like something I have to get through - more like a wake up call or a feeling of relief if you know what I mean?
I HATED planning with a passion and to be honest, still not a huge fan. Gee, I'm really selling it to you here aren't I?
Seriously though, if you need to make rules for yourself about how long you are allowed to be on the computer (this includes your smart-phone or i-pad!) then just do it, there's no shame in it - we live in a new era and new courses of action need to be made until there is balance. Schedule one on one time with your children, partner and other important people in your life. Schedule when you can work and when you can play.
It won't always be this way - one day you will have stacks of time and can go back to a more spontaneous existence but for now, if you aren't coping or don't know which way to turn - schedule.
I'm going to allow myself many more mistakes, many more wrong turns, more evolving, more changes.
What works for me right now might not work for me in a month or even next week.
I'm going to allow myself many, many re-writes.
What I want you to do now, is go and write down YOUR list. Use mine if you need to and change what you need to work for you but write it down. Just the action of this will set you on a course. You don't have to adhere to everything straight away but at least it will be clear what you want and you can then aim for it.
It's all about getting you to be less busy while still achieving just as much, if not more.
As always, I have a flower essence blend suggestion for us busy beavers that find it hard to slow down and guess what it's called? Yep, it's my Slow Down blend and you can read about it here.
I guarantee it will be the smartest thing you do today (unless you are a mathematician, surgeon, work for NASA etc. and then it's probably the second smartest thing you do today) 😉
Yours in Health,