The Parallel Life of Motherhood

Print

April 29, 2015

For Mothers Day this year, I just want equal parts of soaking up my children and time to myself.

Because isn't that what motherhood is about? Trying to have it all? Feeling so fulfilled and so bloody lost?

It's a very paradoxical place, this motherhood bizzo.

Complete yet torn.

Completed by people that you are so fricking proud of you could literally burst at the seams and torn between getting their life sorted and your own life sorted.

So yes, merge these two sides of your life and you have what some might call a success.

But it's hard.

And it's constantly changing.

And it's pretty unobtainable.

Some days you have it all under control and the next you are shown the complete opposite.  

 

Funny Mothers Day

 

Here is what I imagine my days could look like followed by a more 'realistic' day (in pink)

 

7am: Wake up and be greeted by the sun and the kiss of my husband and then approximately 5 minutes later, my children run into the room and I feel their arms around my neck

Anywhere between 5 and 6 am - wake up to my beautiful son squished against me who has taken 3/4 of the bed again. He opens his eyes and smiles then asks me if I had any dreams about dragons too? No husband in sight as he is in another bed or already gone to work.

 

8am: All be sitting down to breakfast at the same table and eating the same meal

Making smoothies for the kids to drink in their toy room because they just want to watch Tree Fu Tom on Tv and I can't really be bothered supervising eggs and bacon, ringing my husband to see if he ate breakfast and which bed he slept in last night

 

9am: Dropping my little darlings at daycare and doing a walk or gym class

Popping the kids into their double pram that they are getting a little too big for and walking around the block while singing songs and changing some of the words to POO (cue hysterical laughter) OR have them walk alongside me which involves a lot of  stopping and starting as we look for cars in driveways, birds, flowers, signs, stones, dragons, lions, tigers, hyenas and the the odd elephant

 

10am -Noon: Answering my e-mails and messages, getting my orders up to date as well as writing at least half of a blog

Wondering whether to sit the kids down to a movie while I get a little bit of my work done or going on a playdate or mucking around in a park or the backyard. Due to logistics, park or playdate always wins and I am glad for it but each day get a little more behind in my work

 

Noon: A lunch date with a friend at somewhere like Primal Pantry or Paleo Cafe where we chat about our kids and our life, laugh and feel like invincible, funny, relaxed women who have it all

A lunch date with my kids which seems to involve rice crackers, avocado, cucumber, carrot, cheese, ham and fruit and we don't deviate from this much because this is what my kids like and this is what they want day after day after day....

 

1pm - 4pm: Me time! A movie, a massage, a pedicure, a leg wax, lying on the grass in a park with a good book but mainly just looking up at the clouds or a nap!!!

Kids in backyard and/or in front of a movie while I juggle URGENT work, phone calls and orders in between fetching drinks, snacks, textas, crayons, fresh paper (ie. paper that is not allowed to have something on the back or a slight crease!) find the latest toy to have gone missing, fix the hula hoop, take videos of trampoline antics, turn the volume up or down, wipe a bum, yell for miss 4 to get come down a bit as she is much to high in that tree, feel guilty that I haven't returned a loved ones text or call yet and wonder what the heck I'm going to make for dinner.

 

4-6pm: Husband arrives home unexpectedly early so the whole family can do something together like ride bikes or have a tea party and we all catch up on each others day

Kids and I in the kitchen making something for afternoon tea and then preparing dinner while ABC 4 Kids is on in the living room and I scroll through facebook on my phone and search the interwebs for my new favourite meal to cook

 

6-7pm: My mother surprise visits and tells my husband and I to go off to dinner while she feeds the kids and gets them to bed so we get dressed up and off we go!

Feeding kids dinner in the living room, often still with the tv on and husband arrives home and obediently starts doing the dishes, running the bath and reading stories

 

7-9pm: Kids fast asleep when we arrive home from our delicious dinner where my husband and I have had time to really look at each other for more than a few seconds. We've spoken of our latest hopes, dreams, aspirations, goals and achievements. We've had a glimpse into each others soul again.

Taking turns to lie with Master 3 to get him off to sleep and then eating our dinner on the couch watching tv and flicking through social media on our i-pads occasionally sending articles, posts or messages to each other while we are sitting. right. next. to. each. other.

 

9-10pm: Bed

9-10pm: Bed

 

To be totally honest, I love both these scenarios and am glad that I have this duality in my life.

Both are possible.

 It's the possibility of our life that we have to keep in mind and if we stop and think about it....who would love the 'perfect' day every day? Not me. How bloody boring, where's the growth?

So on the days that we wonder about what we could or should be doing....I think the best thing to do is to look at the day we ARE having.

Make it the very best version you can make it whatever way you know how.

Then assume some days will be harder than others. There will be days where the 'parallel life' days seem more appealing but see if you can arrange some snippets of your parallel life to appear in the days or weeks ahead.

Go and book that hair appointment or massage.

Arrange a lunch date with a friend.

Organise a babysitter and take your partner out on the town or schedule a date night at home and eat dinner at the table by candlelight and have a internet free evening. Talk or watch a movie sitting really close to each other on the couch or go to bed early (hint, hint, nudge, nudge) 😉

And really look at what you have created.....your family, your life. What you have around you is what YOU have created. Don't spend any time wishing you were somewhere else. Without sounding like the biggest cliche ever, this stage of your life will be over soon and you will miss it deeply.

Or so I've heard 😉  

 

Parallel Lives of Motherhood

And you CAN create those 'parallel life' moments until one day you realise that you can just drop the 'parallel' and live your 'LIFE' as it's all one and the same.

 

Yours in Health,

 

Alisha x

 

Ps. If you would like to schedule in some pamper time this Mothers Day with the help of the Flower Essences - please have a look at my Gift Ideas.

 


2 Responses

Fiona
Fiona

April 30, 2015

Great post. Thanks.

naughtynaturopathmum
naughtynaturopathmum

April 30, 2015

Thanks so much for the comment Fiona and I’m glad you enjoyed it :)

Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.