This blog is about my recent lack of blogging.
The reason is three-fold and one is hard to write about and two are not.
I think I will start with the easy reasons first.
In order to stay more sane, I wrote about ways to help us in this modern age of media and technology. You can read about that here in my blog called STOP.
One of the most important things in there for me was a promise to myself to blog only when inspired to do so instead of by a formula of so-many blogs a week.
I have a lovely friend who is doing me up a fabulous new blog, website and shop where you will be able to buy lots of amazing products that will make you feel good about yourself as well as put you on your path to healing.
This friend is like family to us so he is doing my site as a favour in his precious spare time, while working full time directing his own website business, being a new dad to his new baby boy and doing house renovations!!
My new logo!
So it's taking longer than first thought which has worked in my favour really.
It's removed one of my main distractions...blogging.
In the process of transferring a blog, it helps to not have too many new blogs rolling in and they have to be stopped completely during transfer stage.
This has given me a much needed time to stop the blogging for a bit and just focus on myself more, my Facebook page and wrangling my 2 young poppets but....
Reason 3 (the hard one)
It has also coincided with a really tough time for me personally.
Usually, if things are tough for me, I will distract myself by writing which often takes the form of a blog these days. It may not reflect anything about my current situation, but rather just serves as a big old DISTRACTION.
This can be a bit hazardous for my personal life and the people that hear from me only via the internet these days as this would mean that things look pretty good on the surface which is exactly how I want it to look!
I am very good at hiding.
Even from myself.
What better way to distract from your own hurts than by helping others?
In this I excel.
I know a lot of women, especially mums, that do this exact same thing - shift the focus from ourselves and onto whomever needs us.
Our children, our family, our friends and in my case, about 6500 others....yes, you guys! Hi! 😉
It helps us forget about our own worries for the moment while at the same time makes us feel useful, wanted and needed.
But the cracks will soon start to show and things will feel harder and harder until we break and then repair has to be done.
A selfie I took on a break in Sydney recently. I like this photo because I can see my arms in my sunglasses taking this shot of myself. I also like this photo because I can see that behind the glasses and that small smile, I am struggling and it's been captured on a beautiful and happy day.
So what happens when you take away my outlet of distraction?
Well, I have had to face a few things.
I'm a long way from healed from my recent rough trot.
I'm still trying to find the balance between being a mum, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend and someone who LOVES to help others - terribly distracting!😉
I need to learn how to be more selfish.
I will never be comfortable if I'm not writing.
I do not know how I will feel in a month, two months, three months, a year from now.
I am comfortable sharing this publicly if it helps others, despite making people who know me well a little uncomfortable as they have to read about my life via Facebook and blogging right now.
I know that I am not the only one who lives a little (or a lot) of their life online but I think a BIG difference between me and some is that I KNOW that what you see online is not always what is going on behind closed doors.
I want you guys to know that too.
Comparing yourselves with others online is just as silly as looking through someone's photo albums and thinking that is what their life is like.
No, it's not. But you know that right?
We don't take pics of the bad and the ugly moments as we are too busy just getting through it...we don't want to document that!
My point of writing this blog is to SHARE that I don't have it all together.
I KNOW that no-one does.
I think that the amount of people sharing their lives online these days has gotten some of us confused. If we are constantly bombarded with pics of smiling happy kids, gorgeous healthy juices, yummy food, running marathons, holidays at the beach, rollerblading in the park...then we think...
"Should I be doing all of that? Why aren't we doing that?"
Just please remember that it's just snippets of life. Not life itself.
Life is tumultuous, messy, difficult, exhausting, horrifying.....with beautiful moments in between which is why we get up and do it all again every day.
It's worth it.
It's not all roses all the time and as soon as you remember that, you will start to feel better.
We strive for happiness all the time and to put it bluntly, it is not owed to us.
We need to start realising that we just need to be grateful for when we unexpectedly are happy! :)
I'm happy right now because I am writing. I have no idea what I will feel like later this afternoon when the kids are tired and I have no energy left to deal with them.
I do know that I'm not going to stop posting all my positivity, my healthy foods and drinks, inspiring quotes and ideas to get us and our families healthier as I believe that is doing me and many others the world of good.
I do want you to know that there may be times between these facebook updates and blogs where I'm eating chocolate, drinking too much wine, yelling at my kids, feeling self doubt when I look in the mirror.
But 80/20 baby! We are human and living by the 80/20 rule should take some pressure off you. If that ratio changes somewhat, well, who cares? Just keep striving for the 80/20 ok?
What I would like you to take away from this blog:
You can't run until you are out of the woods.
Try not to hide from yourself with distraction.
Helping yourself first is vital for you to be able to still help others later.
Comparison has to stop, NOW.
Believing that life, the way it is portrayed online, is like that all the time is like believing people are only living their best moments over and over.
People will judge you anyway. so just be yourself whatever you are going through.
Learn to be selfish to get you through the hard times (selfish is NOT a bad word).
You are not owed happiness, but enjoy the moments you are happy.
Know that we are all in the same boat.
Never think you know how someone is doing until you have asked and received an honest answer, until then, don't assume anything.
If all else fails, ask someone to throw you chocolate! :)